Self doubt arrives

So it has been a hectic couple of weeks.

Settling into my new role, school and routine has taken all my spare time and energy (apart from running away to my parents bach during Labour Weekend).

These weeks have been hard and full of self doubt.

The class show the tell-tale signs of multiple teachers over the year. They are a lovely bunch of year 1 students, for all of whom I am their 4th (some 5th) teacher in their first 40 - 60 weeks of school.  This is an extremely disruptive start to their "formal" schooling.
So in my class, I have focussed on building a positive tone, setting behaviour and work expectations as well as getting a handle on the students levels, strengths and needs.

As far as the team go, they show similar signs. They have had multiple leaders with their different ideas, approaches and expectations this year too.
"My team" has actually been the most stressful part of my week.  Each day seemed to bring a new challenge or issue for me to consider, support or deal with.
In preparing this post though, I realised that the team were "suffering" from the constant change too. This time of the year is busy and stressful enough that adding anything different or new would be detrimental to the relationships I am also trying to build.
So instead, I am looking forward to starting 2016 of with freshly reviewed and shared expectations.

All of this combined with the fact I don't know any answers to questions my team raise (or I have) has let the self doubt roll in.
The self doubt has been not only around if I can do the job, but whether I made the right decision to move schools and the right school to move to.
At numerous times this week, I have also worried that the appointment panel maybe regretting their decision with all the questions and ideas I was raising.

At times the scale of the job overwhelms me, but I have an amazingly support network who I have to thank; my senior leadership team who reassure me daily (or multiple times a day) that it will all be ok, my #efellows15 whanau who are there to virtually support me and provide the voice of reason and clarity and of course, my husband and daughter who are a wonderful source of strength and support and who love and encourage me unconditionally.
I am extremely lucky to have these special people in my life.

So in reflection this week; when moving into a position of leadership at a new school, you need to be prepared for a downtime of observation where you can make a list of things of great current practices, things you want to do and things you want to change. You need time to prioritise and plan for both the students and teachers you are responsible for. Most importantly though, you MUST have a support network.
It is the outside support network who will listen and support without judgement. They are the ones who will help "even out" the good and bad days.  Back yourself and give yourself time!